I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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