Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
