the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was like eating out sand paper
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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