She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
