Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
