It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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