So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize