How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
