What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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