Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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