Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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