Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
