Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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