go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
