Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
