he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
