Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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