i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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