Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
