Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
