Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it hurts more in the daytime
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
