operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
