Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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