You smell like stripper and shame
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
