yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
