I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize