I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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