k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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