Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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