My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
