Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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