You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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