So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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