Are we in a gay sports bar?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
