smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
