I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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