p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
