I think im going to throw up on grandma
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
