I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
