Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
