youre lurking in front of me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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