Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dick very happy bro
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
