Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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