make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's blow job season.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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