Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
