Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
