a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
