So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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