No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
