they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
