I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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