I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
