I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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