ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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