You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
