well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
