I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
