How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
