Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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