we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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