5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
