Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
