How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
