Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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