I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
